I’m getting ready for a massive disappointment.

Yesterday, I discovered that my job is on the ‘in demand’ list for Canadian visas. You might think this is a good thing, what with me wanting to move to Canada and all. But, now it could actually happen, it could also actually fail.

The application process opened 24 days ago, and I am only just getting started. I need a police check, I need my qualifications verified by Canadian education people. I need to take a god damn English test, which we can’t sit until June 21st. That’s a month away.

Did I mention there are only 1000 accountant places available?

That’s the thing with dreams that can actually happen – they can also actually not happen. Before, Canada was kind of a pipe-dream, something that we could do in theory, but wasn’t really that practical. But now it’s a reality, and I’m super pissed at myself for not checking the ‘in demand’ list sooner – I could have our application pretty much ready to go by now if I had.

I need to come to terms with failing. I’m not very good at it, but it’s looking likely to happen. I hope that when it does I can move past it and not give up wanting the Canadian dream.

Not to mention I need to get a letter from work explaining my duties and employment history… risky business.

There’s a part of me that wishes I had never bothered to start this – I’ve spent over £400 today getting the ball rolling – and I could have just stayed in blissful ignorance. Why am I such an emotion?

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